Eliot is sick so I will give him that, but his little will is coming out BIG TIME and I'm realizing that this part is the hardest. He has a pretty extensive vocabulary which I appreciate, but some of the times he just cannot get across what he wants and it drives me (and him) insane. Like, I have to leave the room and wake up Patrick to come handle it. Yes, I was already struggling at 7am this morning. I am okay to admit this.
So today we did something fun. We went to Northpark (shocker, I know) and saw the train exhibit. He didn't know where to look first and was so sweet and good and patient waiting for the locomotives to come down the track. It was so fun and special to know that we were both experiencing something so fun for the first time.
Afterwards we went to lunch and as he wolfed down everything (the last couple of days have been the very chic Goldfish and Fruit Snack diet) I started daydreaming. I thought about the days that I wouldn't be doing this with him...that someone else would be teaching him and introducing him to new things. Crying and sogging up my chicken sandwich was not an option, so I snapped out of it and giggled with E over ketchup drenched fingers.
This boy hasn't hit two yet (or 16) and I know the days ahead are going to be really tough. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've wondered why God planned it this way...learning-on-the-job for PARENTING. Kind of risky if you ask me. But I guess it's a refining process that forces me to learn love, joy, peace, PATIENCE, kindess, goodness, faithfulness, and SELF CONTROL.
So bring on the fun days of learning and exploring together and bring on the prayers, soul searching, and glasses of wine when I have the OTHER days.
I vow to treasure the zillionth time he says, "Mama, hold you?" because I know the day is coming when my hugs and kisses will be shielded.
Thank you E for teaching me so many things and values that I am so lacking. And please be patient with me as I navigate these seriously murky, tantrum infested, no manual included waters of parenting.